Sorry I haven’t written in a little bit. My last post was on letting go and resting in God’s peace and strength while going through this adoption – so I have been. And it hasn’t always been easy… BUT can I just say that when I actually do rest and let go, this process becomes even more beautiful and I am seeing more and more of God in each step! It is wonderful!
Enough of that though. I actually have something that I have been sitting on and processing through. This is something that you can pray about for us, and when I say pray I mean pray A LOT and HARD.
Two weekends ago Caleb and I went to the ranch for opening season. Caleb and his dad were going hunting and were as excited as could be! During this time, Charlie and I had plans to go into Yellowstone National Park with a friend on Saturday and then we were going to rest and play all day on Sunday.
Friday night after the guys had gone out to scope out (I don’t know hunting terms so please forgive me) the deer and elk, I had chili and cornbread ready for dinner. We sat and ate. I had one cider beer (it was SO yummy). And then it hit me. I was SO unbelievably exhausted. And nauseous. And feeling drunk. (Mind you, I don’t drink to get drunk and I don’t know the last time I felt this way. AND it was only one CIDER beer, which is hardly a beer anyway.) So I went to bed.
The next morning Caleb woke up at 6am to get ready to head out to hunt with his dad. I tried to go back to sleep after his alarm went off but I couldn’t… I just wanted to vomit. All I could think was that I would be stuck at a home that we don’t live at, with a toddler (who had recently become extra clingy), without medicine and without help. My sweet and loving husband offered to hang back but I knew that would NOT be an option if we wanted all sorts of wild game this coming year… so I sent him on his way and went to lay back down and rest until Charlie would wake up (typically at 7).
At 8am Charlie woke up – praise God! I still felt this overwhelming dread that I had the stomach flu as my stomach was cramping, and I kept running to the bathroom feeling like I was going to vomit. However, I started to feel better (still nauseous but not sick) so we decided to meet up with a friend and her incredible service dog and go into Yellowstone.
The whole day I was nauseous. When we got home that night Charlie went to bed immediately and I laid in a recliner feeling hungover, exhausted, nauseous and like I wasn’t going to make it through the night.
Fast forward to the next day. Caleb and his dad decided to only go hunting in the morning because I was clearly sick. When Caleb came back we packed up and drove home. When we arrived at home Caleb and our dear sweet friend/manager of the coffee shop/sister/dog watcher kept asking if I was pregnant.
“I am NOT pregnant!!” I said.
This didn’t stop them from making it clear I needed to check – so I did. And I wasn’t. The end.
Okay maybe not the end. I continued to feel sick.
Tuesday, Caleb had food poisoning, Charlie was sick, and I was still sick. So that was it! I had the flu!! YES!
Wednesday was date night and we were all healthy again. So, Caleb and I decided to go to Trivia night with some friends at a local bar SO I got this sinking feeling that I should double check one last time to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. After all, I was going to have a beer.
So I checked. And there it was. A faint line.
I started to panic.
I raced over to a friend’s home to see if faint was still positive. It was.
So there you have it folks, we are having a baby! And we are due July 12th, 2014! And we are still adopting 2 boys from the DRC!
Yes, you added right, next year we will go from having 1 kid to having 4!! Newborn – 7 years old!!! So prayers are coveted.
How are we doing?? Well, after 3 days of panicking (just ask my sweet adoptive group, my gentle and patient and CALM husband, and a few of my friends), we are actually very excited! I cannot wait to be a mom of 4 kids! Can you believe it?? I have a God who knows my heart so much better than I do, that He provides our family with some of our deepest longings!!
Our God is way bigger than we are. He knows what is best for us. He loves us more than we could ever love ourselves. He honors the dreams of those who love and follow after Him (not that I am great at that).
I keep singing that new Matt Maher song “Lord I Need You” because it is SO true. I need Him to get through this. Not because this is bad in any way shape or form, but because I know I can barely make it through being a wife and mom when I am not leaning fully on Him. So how do I even begin to think that I will be able to be a wife and a mom to 4 without Him. I won’t be able to. And I am proud of the fact that I need Him so badly!
Here is that incredible song that I now I sing constantly through out my days:
As you pray for our family and this incredible journey God is blessing us to be on please pray for our boys’ health! Pray for our baby’s health! Pray that we would continue to cling to God with everything we are and everything we have!!
And I will be praying for you. I will pray that God will fulfill your deepest longings and desires. I will pray that you will come to the realization that you need Him to get through your day. And I will pray that you will passionately run towards Him when any blessing or trial come into your life!
Until Next Time,