Hush

I’ve written about a lot of things that have been extremely hard on my family and me. I’ve written about our decision to adopt, the waiting time through the adoption, the bond you form with the kids you have never even met, and the depth of that loss. I’ve told you about my dad’s death and how that turned our worlds upside down and inside out. My heart has bled in front of you as you have read about the different ups and downs that we have had in our lives over the past nearly five years of marriage. Some of these things that have happened I would have never wished on anybody.

Through all of this I have written about how God is sovereign. How He loves us – how He knows our heartache. And I know that I’ve told you of His great power and might in my weakest of moments. I have felt His love in ways that I cannot even explain to you – ways that make my heart race, palms sweat and the air to be sucked from my lungs.

He knew all of the difficult things that would happen these past five years and let them happen anyway. He knew the joys that would come in the midst of these difficulties. He provided people who would love on us when things were the hardest. He gave us wisdom on what to do or say in specific situations. He showed us that He knows the desires of our hearts. But more than all of that, He has shown us when to be still – untroubled, quiet, silent, unruffled, or my favorite definition of this: hushed…

In the past three years (the year when my dad died, we moved back to Bozeman, had Charlie,  and started our adoption process) I have felt God whispering to me “hush”. Think of that word… how does it roll off of your tongue when you say it? I imagine it to tumble from my mouth like one of those waterfalls that you see tripping down the side of a mountain. There’s an expediency to it but at the end it slows into the s-h… causing your volume to fall into a low whisper.

Hushhhhhhh…

Hush.

The more I heard God telling me to “hush” the louder my questions became: why do you want me to hush? What are you doing min my life? What are you trying to teach me??

Hush.

And then, just like that waterfall tripping down the side of a mountain, He spoke life into that command.

“The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.” Exodus 14:14 (ESV)

It needed no explanation. There was nothing more to that verse, nothing less. It held strength and power. It took away the image that God was merely a comforter and gave him the image of a warrior, much like the rider on a white horse in Revelation.

“Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.” Revelation 19:11-16 (ESV)

That description is not one that  makes God to be passive or small. It isn’t an image of someone who doesn’t care or is afraid of what’s to come. No, it is the picture of a fierce warrior coming down to fight the battle of all battles. In fact, at the end of that passage the Bible says that after defeating the beast and false prophet, “the rest were slain by the sword that came from the mouth of him who was sitting on the horse, and all the birds were gorged with their flesh.” (Rev. 19:21)

Guys. Does that sound like a God who doesn’t fight for you?! I am so sad to say that my heart is one that pictured God as someone who would just let things happen. That He cared but wanted us to figure it out for ourselves. (Not saying I don’t believe in free will, but that is another topic for another day.) But I was so wrong – “He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.” Did you read that??

Three years ago this image of God changed my perspective on His passion for His people and this week He showed me more about His fierce heart in this verse as I was working on my Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). We have been studying the life of Moses and this is right at that point where everything could have changed for the Israelites. They were sitting in the valley near the red sea – where God led them to – as they turned around to see that Pharaoh and all of his officers marching after them. They were afraid – can you blame them? And they turn to Moses and pretty much asked if God led them there to be slaughtered and claimed that it would have been better for them to stay slaves in Egypt than to be killed in cold blood in the wilderness. And then Moses said, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.” (Ex. 14:13-14)

Do you know what happened next? God led the Israelites to freedom. He used Moses to part the Red Sea, took the Israelites to safety, and wiped out all of Pharaoh’s army and Pharaoh himself. And what did the Israelites have to do? Nothing. No planning, scheming, fighting, or begging could have gotten them out of that nearly fatal situation. And I’m sure they didn’t think God could get them out of there either. But He did. They waited. He parted the sea. They were saved.

Hindsight is 20/20 and I’m sure that after God saved them, and they celebrated their victory, they looked back and thought how silly it was that they questioned their God. Just like I sit here today and look back and realize how big I must think I am to think that God doesn’t have all of these trials covered. I can see a perfect image now of how God was fighting for me when all I could do was stare at the army bearing down behind me and the sea raging before me. I can see that He saved me.

While they were in the desert the Israelites forgot what God had done on numerous occasions. I’m sure Moses kept feeling like he was talking to a brick wall when he reminded them not to be afraid – that God had them covered. And I’m sure that there are going to be times when I look back and roll my eyes over my forgetfulness… but I pray not.

I pray that God will engrave Exodus 14:14 on my heart forever. That I would constantly see the image of Him defeating Pharaoh for the Israelites and fighting for me in all of my struggles. I pray that it wouldn’t be something that I take lightly and that I would remember that He hems me in, behind and before (Psalm 139:5). But more than that, I am begging that God continues to tell me “hush”.

“The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.” Exodus 14:14 (ESV)

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2 thoughts on “Hush

  1. Love this post Laura. I have always loved your writing, it was a gift we could see in you even as a child. I love this post, because you have learned so much, matured in the faith by leaps and bounds in these few short years. I know I have no right to claim you in any way, but I am proud of you and I’m sure your Mom is too. Your amazing Dad, I believe has some knowledge even from heaven of how very well you and your precious family are doing.

    Lastly, I love your post because I too am in BSF and so I too am reminded of these things. I love being back in a BSF class and I feel like I am learning so much again. Praise God! Keep writing my friend, and keep growing in Him because He will always fight for you.

    With love and prayers,
    Sherry

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